I fucking despise you, Xanga. (Not the guys who make Xanga, Xanga as a real entity.)
This is my last post ever. I can't bring myself to delete [my xanga account] though, there are a few of you on here where this is my only medium to contact you. No, I don't want your phone number because I hate the fucking phone.
And NO, I absolutely refuse to get a goddamned Blogger Myspace Twitter Facebook. No, I don't have a good reason for feeling that way either. It is just something, deep down inside of me that resists Facebook. No, I don't want to set my "mood" or put up some profound quote about life that would make my gag reflex grow an arm, reach out of my mouth and make me finger-induce-rage-puke all over my monitor in spasmatic vomit fury...whatever that means.
Nor do I want to waste the hours reading the utterly trite bullshit that people write. (and I would waste a shit ton of time reading it too).
What I am going to do is fail misearably at finding another online meduim for me to shit on, continue to lurk on other sites and shake my old man fist at the screen while complaining about emo kids and their stupid shitty music. And pants. WHY ARE YOUR PANTS SO TIGHT? GOD!!!
Eat a dick, Facebook. Fuck your mood status, your billboard of stupid people babbling inane shit about how hard they partied last night and most of all, the pictures. All of them.
//reading Facebook now as well as looking at pictures....I CAN'T STOP
Aw...the magic of the unknown to us when we were young. Remember when things were actual mysteries? How our imaginations ran wild?
More specifically, even oddities we spotted in "controlled" mediums such as Nintendo games would absolutely mystify us! Remember "minus world" in Super Mario Bros. 1? Why was it there? And just what the hell was that flying mask thing in Super Mario Bros. 2?
Anyway....I still can't explain this one to this very day: Jump to 2:16.
WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING? What could possibly be going on? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!!!
NES GAMES ARE EFFING CHEAP
Adding on...on the subject of Nintendo games, I will assert you this:
Every 26-29 year old kid that grew up playing the NES could probably kick your ass at any platformer game out there. Why? I'm convinced that every 8-bit game ever made was only made just to piss you off. Whether it be sheer insane difficulty like ANY Mega Man game (god DAMNED disappearing blocks), mind numbingly frustrating enemies like the ones that knock you off of platforms (Ninja Gaiden and those goddamned falcons or Karate Kid and anything that moved) or just cheap ass things like impossible jumps (Super Mario Bros 1, level 8, TNMT 1, Mega Man, any levels that make you jump with "wind" blowing in the opposite direction)....Here is a moment I'd like you all to remember:
All I have to do is just state the name of the game and you will instantly know the EXACT thing I'm thinking about.
Battletoads. Yep, the Wind Tunnel/Hover bike level. It came early in the game and only the most ADD, hyper active, twitch response kids were capable of passing it the first try...the rest of us had to memorize the level piece by piece...by failing, over and over again. Two players made it worse. Because if one person ran out of lives, you START OVER AGAIN.
Here is the level in its full glory.
..
"From a Fark.com thread: This makes me want to buy a Nintendo controller just so I can throw it at the wall."
Playing Co-op with shit like that level would test friendships, send kids into anger management or cost your parents a new NES controller, TV, or the money to patch up holes in the wall. I'm not kidding. It was baby punching inducing anger to homicidal levels. But yet, we still played it. Together even. Why? Maybe because we're stupid and gluttons for punishment...at least I was am.
Looks like I'll be hooking up the old Nintendo...er emulator (until I can find a NES) and try my luck again. Why I love Ninjas.
On the same subject....(or close...whatever, we're talking about NES now), this is why I wanted to be a ninja. All thanks to the beginning CUT SCENE (which in itself, epic) of Ninja Gaiden 1 for the Nintendo Entertainment System.
..
As a little kid, watching a little ninja movie play before my eyes, was something I will never forget. Fuck the Ninja Turtles, I wanted to be like Ryu and have myself a god damned DRAGON SWORD. Being so young, I did not catch some of the meanings or little pieces of the plot but I did understand the underlying meaning: Your girl was kidnapped, your dad was dead and you have to kill the son of a bitch bad guy by doing the only thing you know how to do: being a badass, ninja star throwing, flip jumping, cloth wrapped around face NINJA.
I just voted. More importantly, I voted for Nevada positions. (because really, that is where votes actually count)
With that said....I'm going to bet everyone a kajillion dollars that the air still feels the same tomorrow, no new crazy taxes will suddenly appear, my right to have bear arms won't be taken away(obscure?) and terrorists will be absent regardless who gets elected....so shut the fuck up about it already you crazy right and left wingers.
Annnnnnnnnnnnyway.... Here is me at work waiting for a program to do its goddamned job. This is based off a fellow co-worker's drawing which I'll post soon.
"I don't want to start a political debate but [insert some easily refutable, partisan political point here]" Ug. Shut up.
"Did you know that [presidential candidate] was involved in [unproven or debunked accusation]?" Ugh, no he wasn't and you're just jumping on the partisan butt humping train. SHUT UP.
"I read the [presidential candidate]'s resolution for [some issue] and said he would pay for it by [something]." Ugh, Shu- wait, really? Hmm. I'll go read up on that then.
Anyway, here is a random web comic. Only funny to those that played Q*bert.
