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Posted by: CloroxMan

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Original: 12/14/2008 12:29 AM
Views: 328
Comments: 19
eProps: 26

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

When we were kids...

 Aw...the magic of the unknown to us when we were young.  Remember when things were actual mysteries?   How our imaginations ran wild?

More specifically, even oddities we spotted in "controlled" mediums such as Nintendo games would absolutely mystify us!   Remember "minus world" in Super Mario Bros. 1?  Why was it there?  And just what the hell was that flying mask thing in Super Mario Bros. 2?  

Anyway....I still can't explain this one to this very day:  Jump to 2:16.


WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?  What could possibly be going on?  SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!!!



NES GAMES ARE EFFING CHEAP

Adding on...on the subject of Nintendo games, I will assert you this: 

Every 26-29 year old kid that grew up playing the NES could probably kick your ass at any platformer game out there.  Why?  I'm convinced that every 8-bit game ever made was only made just to piss you off.   Whether it be sheer insane difficulty like ANY Mega Man game (god DAMNED disappearing blocks), mind numbingly frustrating enemies like the ones that knock you off of platforms (Ninja Gaiden and those goddamned falcons or Karate Kid and anything that moved) or just cheap ass things like impossible jumps (Super Mario Bros 1, level 8, TNMT 1, Mega Man, any levels that make you jump with "wind" blowing in the opposite direction)....Here is a moment I'd like you all to remember: 

All I have to do is just state the name of the game and you will instantly know the EXACT thing I'm thinking about.

Battletoads. 
Yep, the Wind Tunnel/Hover bike level.  It came early in the game and only the most ADD, hyper active, twitch response kids were capable of passing it the first try...the rest of us had to memorize the level piece by piece...by  failing, over and over again.  Two players made it worse.  Because if one person ran out of lives, you START OVER AGAIN.

Here is the level in its full glory.
..
"From a Fark.com thread:  This makes me want to buy a Nintendo controller just so I can throw it at the wall."

Playing Co-op with shit like that level would test friendships, send kids into anger management or cost your parents a new NES controller, TV, or the money to patch up holes in the wall.  I'm not kidding.  It was baby punching inducing anger to homicidal levels. But yet, we still played it.  Together even. Why?  Maybe because we're stupid and gluttons for punishment...at least I was am.

Looks like I'll be hooking up the old Nintendo...er emulator (until I can find a NES) and try my luck again.

Why I love Ninjas.

On the same subject....(or close...whatever, we're talking about NES now), this is why I wanted to be a ninja. All thanks to the beginning CUT SCENE (which in itself, epic) of Ninja Gaiden 1 for the Nintendo Entertainment System.

..

As a little kid, watching a little ninja movie play before my eyes, was something I will never forget.  Fuck the Ninja Turtles, I wanted to be like Ryu and have myself a god damned DRAGON SWORD.  Being so young, I did not catch some of the meanings or little pieces of the plot but I did understand the underlying meaning:  Your girl was kidnapped, your dad was dead and you have to kill the son of a bitch bad guy by doing the only thing you know how to do: being a badass, ninja star throwing, flip jumping, cloth wrapped around face NINJA.  

..

Seriously, it was a boy thing.
 Posted 12/14/2008 12:29 AM - 328 Views - 26 eProps - 19 comments

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19 Comments

Visit heebie_stevo's Xanga Site!
OMFG!! That's really naughty.
Posted 11/17/2008 9:00 PM by heebie_stevo - reply

Visit Obsydyon's Xanga Site!

And they say video games today are too graphic for children.  Sheesh.

Maybe one is praying to the other?  or perhaps helping him hem his shorts?  or maybe bowing before his amazitude?  surely not blowing him...

Posted 11/17/2008 9:41 PM by Obsydyon Xanga True Member - reply

Visit ElementRydr's Xanga Site!
Wow, you know nothing about boxing. It is totally customary to get your dick sucked by your trainer in between rounds. A few other things you may not know, after making a birdie golfers must insert the ball into their ass and play out the rest of the game with it there. In javelin, if you throw it out of bounds you must shave off your pubes and glue them on as a mustache(in the event you have no pubes, you must use your opponents) In water polo if there is a tie you must play marco polo but can't use your hands to find your opponents, only your penis. And in Grecco-Roman wresting if you compete... you're gay. Its true, I watch the history channel all the time.
Posted 11/18/2008 2:49 AM by ElementRydr - reply

Visit BitterFlower216's Xanga Site!
OH MY GOD.  Whatever I expected, it wasn't that.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though.  Have you ever watched a judo or wrestling match?
Posted 11/18/2008 7:50 PM by BitterFlower216 - reply

Visit Tinfoil_Star's Xanga Site!
AHAHAHAHAHA!
The 8th grader in me loved that.
Clearly, video graphics aren't what they once were.
Posted 11/22/2008 11:14 AM by Tinfoil_Star - reply

Visit societys_rabid_butterfly's Xanga Site!
And every Disney movie has subliminal sex messages. Hey stranger. How's life?
Posted 12/2/2008 9:54 PM by societys_rabid_butterfly - reply

Visit CloroxMan's Xanga Site!

@societys_rabid_butterfly - 



When the priest in The Little Mermaid popped a boner, my world came crashing down around me. hahah
Posted 12/3/2008 7:38 AM by CloroxMan - reply

Visit Twitch354's Xanga Site!

Motherfuckin battletoads. That clip brought up all kinds of repressed memories.

Posted 12/14/2008 10:22 AM by Twitch354 - reply

Visit heebie_stevo's Xanga Site!
I been rockin' the emulator at work for like 3 months now. It's the best time waster ever.
Posted 12/14/2008 2:32 PM by heebie_stevo - reply

Visit PhunkyP's Xanga Site!
The worst part about Battletoads is that wasn't even the hardest section. Racing down the...something or another and having the beat the rat. IMPOSSIBLE! And Castlevania was insanely ridiculous.
Posted 12/14/2008 2:36 PM by PhunkyP - reply

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@PhunkyP - 

Castlevania was indeed. Hell, the second one was the worst because the horrible translation errors made it impossible to continue on with your quest without looking up what to do next.
Posted 12/14/2008 3:22 PM by CloroxMan - reply

Visit ElementRydr's Xanga Site!
Seriously, I am not ashamed to admit, I could never make it past that part in Battletoads. I just told myself that the people that made the game must have wanted it to end there because there was no reason why you would make a part that insanely difficult. Plus, the first few weeks we had to play the game, my sister always wanted to play too, so there was no way I was making it through with her slow reaction ass. So many repressed memories unleashed.
Posted 12/15/2008 2:59 PM by ElementRydr - reply

Visit Canute_Viking's Xanga Site!
I remember playing Battletoads. Took me forever as a kid, but I beat that damned bike level...got pretty good at it too. Good post.
Posted 12/15/2008 6:48 PM by Canute_Viking - reply

Visit Ravyn80's Xanga Site!
Battletoads, I just finally gave up on it. I could do it, but it pissed me off severely.
Castlevania on the other hand....my mother had to come in and take the controller out of my hands and turn off the Nintendo I would be so pissed. I think I broke a controller because of that game. Yet...i just downloaded it to my Blackjack to play wherever I go. Yay!
Ninja Gaiden is another favorite. Love that game.
Posted 12/24/2008 2:36 AM by Ravyn80 - reply

Visit ElementRydr's Xanga Site!
Why do I have a strong feeling that this is what you are doing with your free time.

Ninja
Posted 1/2/2009 3:37 PM by ElementRydr - reply

Visit PFunkyMoo's Xanga Site!
I read your newer post, and I definitely think guys are trying to have a baby or are indeed having a baby. True or false?
Posted 1/27/2009 2:23 PM by PFunkyMoo - reply

Visit QuixoticHotSoup's Xanga Site!
Hey Fear and I will be rolling through Reno in the middle of May and hanging with Keeney for a couple days. If you guys have free time it would be cool to see ya!
Posted 4/24/2009 12:13 AM by QuixoticHotSoup - reply

Visit Qwennigan's Xanga Site!
I believe we may have an opportunity to meet this weekend as your lovely wife is listed as 'attending' our class reunion.
Posted 7/14/2009 1:25 AM by Qwennigan - reply

Visit Obsydyon's Xanga Site!
You will be missed on Xanga.  I believe Xanga is dying.  All the interesting people are leaving or posting once every six months, which makes for a very boring Xanga experience.  Best of luck to you for future endeavors, online or off!
Posted 8/5/2009 3:34 PM by Obsydyon Xanga True Member - reply


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