CloroxMan's Xanga

When we were kids...

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:29:43 GMT

Aw...the magic of the unknown to us when we were young. Remember when things were actual mysteries? How our imaginations ran wild?

More specifically, even oddities we spotted in "controlled" mediums such as Nintendo games would absolutely mystify us! Remember "minus world" in Super Mario Bros. 1? Why was it there? And just what the hell was that flying mask thing in Super Mario Bros. 2?

Anyway....I still can't explain this one to this very day: Jump to 2:16.

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING? What could possibly be going on? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!!!

NES GAMES ARE EFFING CHEAP

Adding on...on the subject of Nintendo games, I will assert you this:

Every 26-29 year old kid that grew up playing the NES could probably kick your ass at any platformer game out there. Why? I'm convinced that every 8-bit game ever made was only made just to piss you off. Whether it be sheer insane difficulty like ANY Mega Man game (god DAMNED disappearing blocks), mind numbingly frustrating enemies like the ones that knock you off of platforms (Ninja Gaiden and those goddamned falcons or Karate Kid and anything that moved) or just cheap ass things like impossible jumps (Super Mario Bros 1, level 8, TNMT 1, Mega Man, any levels that make you jump with "wind" blowing in the opposite direction)....Here is a moment I'd like you all to remember:

All I have to do is just state the name of the game and you will instantly know the EXACT thing I'm thinking about.

Battletoads.
Yep, the Wind Tunnel/Hover bike level. It came early in the game and only the most ADD, hyper active, twitch response kids were capable of passing it the first try...the rest of us had to memorize the level piece by piece...by failing, over and over again. Two players made it worse. Because if one person ran out of lives, you START OVER AGAIN.

Here is the level in its full glory.

"From a Fark.com thread: This makes me want to buy a Nintendo controller just so I can throw it at the wall."

Playing Co-op with shit like that level would test friendships, send kids into anger management or cost your parents a new NES controller, TV, or the money to patch up holes in the wall. I'm not kidding. It was baby punching inducing anger to homicidal levels. But yet, we still played it. Together even. Why? Maybe because we're stupid and gluttons for punishment...at least I was am.

Looks like I'll be hooking up the old Nintendo...er emulator (until I can find a NES) and try my luck again.

Why I love Ninjas.

On the same subject....(or close...whatever, we're talking about NES now), this is why I wanted to be a ninja. All thanks to the beginning CUT SCENE (which in itself, epic) of Ninja Gaiden 1 for the Nintendo Entertainment System.

As a little kid, watching a little ninja movie play before my eyes, was something I will never forget. Fuck the Ninja Turtles, I wanted to be like Ryu and have myself a god damned DRAGON SWORD. Being so young, I did not catch some of the meanings or little pieces of the plot but I did understand the underlying meaning: Your girl was kidnapped, your dad was dead and you have to kill the son of a bitch bad guy by doing the only thing you know how to do: being a badass, ninja star throwing, flip jumping, cloth wrapped around face NINJA.

Seriously, it was a boy thing.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:52:55 GMT

I just voted. More importantly, I voted for Nevada positions. (because really, that is where votes actually count)

With that said....I'm going to bet everyone a kajillion dollars that the air still feels the same tomorrow, no new crazy taxes will suddenly appear, my right to have bear arms won't be taken away(obscure?) and terrorists will be absent regardless who gets elected....so shut the fuck up about it already you crazy right and left wingers.

Annnnnnnnnnnnyway....
Here is me at work waiting for a program to do its goddamned job. This is based off a fellow co-worker's drawing which I'll post soon.

STEAM LOLLER

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:19:03 GMT

"I don't want to start a political debate but [insert some easily refutable, partisan political point here]"
Ug. Shut up.

"Did you know that [presidential candidate] was involved in [unproven or debunked accusation]?"
Ugh, no he wasn't and you're just jumping on the partisan butt humping train. SHUT UP.

"I read the [presidential candidate]'s resolution for [some issue] and said he would pay for it by [something]."
Ugh, Shu- wait, really? Hmm. I'll go read up on that then.

Anyway, here is a random web comic. Only funny to those that played Q*bert.

"if you a dick, get out"

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:03:44 GMT

Quick and dirty random for those of you bored and browsing.

I don't know who made this comic yet but I'll post it when I find out.

And my personal favorite....I think made by some SomethingAwful.com forum goon, LegoRobot.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:10:48 GMT

yes I know I am being lame and posting youtube videos....so here is another one.

aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww (ninja cat vs devil cat)

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 04:21:07 GMT

Oh yeah...and I just made and ordered myself THIS awesome coffee mug.
make custom gifts at Zazzle

Brain...hurts.....why

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:04:44 GMT

Retards exist all over, AOL blamed (actual story)

"The most frequently ordered items were sexual enhancement pills, adult entertainment, software and luxury items including watches, jewelery and clothing."

Die people. DIE. I bet 100 percent of those people buy ringtones from those obnoxious commercials as well. Dancing Mortgage web ad? SIGN ME UP!!! If you don't know what I'm talking about, browse around, you will see it. I promise.

I don't count emails from companies you purchase from such as HP.com or Newegg as actual spam. I'm talking about "FrEE PeNIS pills BRITNEY sex TAPE PR0N software FREE XBOX" Let this sink in. People buy from that expecting results. They really do.

They might vote as well.

Random Picture

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:34:05 GMT

Me last Halloween:

Wigs are itchy.

From Random

Bonus: The mustache is real.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:43:39 GMT

Second Life Largely Ignored by Obama, McCain Campaigns

lol good. Now if only the rest of the world can do this.

EDIT:
Speaking of presidential candidates...here is a funny quote relating to taxes.

as Chris Rock put it...
"if he were making $30,000,000, if you take away half his money he ain't starving. but if he's making $30,000... take away half his money, and he might have to kill someone."

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 18:25:50 GMT

Woman Ticketed for Dropping F Bomb in WalMart

If the store wanted her out, that fine. But a "peace officer" who got offended? Bullshit. I would have told him to go fuck himself as well.

Especially in Wal-Mart. If you can get ticketed for not being classy, why didn't that entire store get fined?